Learning to Go Beyond a Generational Limiting Belief – Part 1
Over my lifetime I have been guided by one very wise, compassionate, and empathic woman – my mum.
Although my mum, passed some 21 years ago at the age of 71, her soul and essence are still ever-present and felt by me each day. Her words of wisdom which influence my heart’s direction, softly remind me of the importance of living in alignment with my very own true and authentic self.
I believe that my mother’s personal experiences of the 1940s, which included the tragedies, traumas, and post-war inflictions, that were the results of WW2, were a huge part of building my mother’s character. Being born in 1930 no doubt would have had her growing up into a young woman much earlier and faster than one would have imagined of any time otherwise.
The times of global unrest back in the 1940s undoubtedly would have set the tone for what was a contributing factor towards much of the changes within communities, families, and individual behaviour.
Lives and personal character traits would have been harshly tested. It was a time that could either bring about a person’s best qualities or possibly their worst. How someone may have conducted themselves in public may have been a contrasting display experienced by close family members in private, behind closed doors. Such was the case in my mother’s family.
Loved ones returning home from battle to their family would never feel nor be the same again. Their bodies and minds would have been tragically and traumatically affected in ways that no other soul could possibly imagine.
I make a short and brief reference to my mother’s shared early years, as an opportunity to shine a light on the fact that we never know what another person may be struggling with or going through. We all have a tendency to mask our feelings and emotions as a way to help get us through each day or circumstance the best way we know how at the time.
Our ability to deal with such mental and emotional adversities differs from one personality to another. Some people see their challenges as a means to do good and help others, unaware of how healing it may be for themselves in the process. Whilst others may feel completely overwhelmed with their sorrow and pain, never seeking nor taking advantage of any guidance or support that could help them live a better life.
I’m sure that throughout mums struggles and challenges (of which she had many throughout her life) she could never have imagined just how her will, inner strength, courage, and determination for a better life, would later leave such an impactful legacy on those who loved her so dearly.
Mum always had time to chat and listen to those around her regardless of topic or conversation, and always did so with the utmost sincerity and kindest of hearts. She often had many a wise word to share and ever so thoughtfully and compassionately too, whilst always wearing an accompanying warm and loving smile.
The challenges mum faced throughout her life gave her many a good reason to desire a peaceful and loving life. Although, she could easily have chosen to become bitter and angry – yelling out to the world – “WHY ME!!!!!!” – but she never.
Thankfully she chose a higher road, a much loving path of choice, and her family and those who felt a connection to her were blessed to always see a side that exhibited displays of endearing affection.
There was a phrase that mum would often suggest to me when I found myself experiencing challenging times of pain and despair. A phrase that appeared to be deeply embedded into her psyche, which no doubt, was channeled as a resource for hopeful peaceful resolve when she herself faced challenging times of unrest and fear.
The phrase became my mum’s mantra, and her crutch in many more cases than were probably necessary. I do believe that mum held on to the hope and belief that this phrase would serve her well – at least from an external view.
That phrase?
“Hold the Peace!”
Whenever I sat to speak with mum openly (which she made so easy for me to express) about painful and frustrating family matters, her automatic, but empathetic response would always be, “Hold the Peace, Love – Just Hold the Peace”.
What began as a strategic and conscious thought as a young girl to keep her “physically” safe, along with her mum and younger siblings, continued to be a strategic long-held belief that would sit within her subconscious, ready to be reclaimed when facing any volatile or troubling time in all the years that followed.
It was only in my adult years that I could truly understand her reason for suggesting such simplistic, although not always, soul-healing advice.
This suggested response rose from a deep place heavily based on threatening childhood and adolescent experiences. All of those experiences strongly but quietly, sat embedded in each cell of her body for her remaining years. So it was only natural she would rely on the phrase as an automatic instinctual reply, to hold at bay any potential rise in an external, emotionally charged, and heated conflict or situation.
I reflect and ask myself –
….. I wonder if mum left this earth fully believing that she did do the right thing by herself, when Holding the Peace, as often as she did?
….. did she, like all too many do towards the end of life, look back and wish she had expressed herself differently, more assertively whilst appreciating her worth?
….. did she at some point acknowledge the depth of power and permission her unspoken words gave to others in challenging times?
….. did she come to realise that speaking up could have actually been a healthy thing to do – that it is an act of self-love and respect?
I have absolutely no doubt that mum was fully aware of how life could have been contrastingly different, had she chosen to speak her truth at every opportunity when she was faced with a challenging character.
There comes a time when we are all required to leave this earth to go on a new and greater journey. It’s often been researched that when the time draws close for us to depart this world, the greater population acknowledges their many regrets.
Not fulfilling dreams and desires is commonly close to mind, and towards the top of any regret list. But there are also those regrets of wishing we had spoken up, sharing our thoughts and feelings, vocalising our concerns to those who so needed to be aware of them. Lives could have been saved, much relief could have been experienced, and a greater love and understanding could have been shared.
Settling our differences with others is always a biggie to approach and move through. There can be many a long-held unexpressed emotion that needs, and deserves, the opportunity to be felt, heard, and freed, and then when having done so, potentially relieve our mind and body from any heartache and/or dis-ease.
Unfortunately, with a lack of self-esteem, confidence, and self-worth, our fears take full advantage in steeling any opportunity for self-expression and speech which we may secretly wish to openly bring forth to communicate. Our spirit is then heavily burdened, and any great happiness appears to be somewhat eroded, or at least dismissed for a time.
When presenting our offerings for open communication from a place of love, compassion, and respect for ourselves, as much as that for others, many hurdles can courageously be faced and hopefully then overcome. This potentially paves the way for much greater and healthier relationships with overwhelming results.
WHEN PLACED IN A MOMENT TO “HOLD THE PEACE” – BE SURE THAT THAT MOMENT WILL SERVE YOU WELL.
…. FOR WHERE THERE IS NO TRUE INNER-PEACE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ENSLAVED TO A LIE.
To be continued …………………..
………………. stepping outside the boundaries of long-held limiting beliefs
